Thwarting the Vegetable Gods

A lot of time on this blog has been spent in the musing of the intentions of the Vegetable Gods. They foil us at every turn with late frosts, scalding heat, thick humidity, too much sun, too little sun, cut worms, squash bugs, vine borers, root maggots, cucumber beetles, spider mites, early frosts and the rogue bird, squirrel, feral cat or other animal for hire, all of which serve in their determination to deprive us of the bounty we so crave during the dark ages of winter. We are not so easily deterred. We fight back with our arsenal of soil amendments, organic/non organic pest control, and hoop covers. We fight the good fight from frost to frost, and all is well. For all our hard work and dedication, our harvests fill our cabinets, our freezers, our bellies and our hearts.

Then, there are times when the Vegetable Gods falsely assume they're humorous, take advantage of our garden-greed and overload us with a single vegetable unmercifully like they've done to Granny. 300 lbs. of tomatoes isn't funny, no matter how you look at it.

Our main issue with the Vegetable Gods in the South, besides the rampant insects, is the short spring and summer inferno that arrives without warning. The lettuce and radishes thrive in the succulent spring, but bolt far before the tomatoes have produced their first flowers.

(Yes, my friends. I'm on my Vegetable Gods' conspiracy theory yet again (post 1 / post 2). No I won't let it go. I can dwell on any one thing for weeks if not months or years at a time without it getting old or my ramblings on the matter making any more sense. I'm a woman. That's my job.)

Ahhh...Fall. The toxic humidity of the southern summer drops off as quickly as it arrived, leaving no trace of its presence, and the sun's warmth kisses your skin as it was wont to do. And, my fellow gardeners in arms, the fall becomes the time for....

INTEGRATED SALADS FROM THE GARDEN!!!!!!

Provided, of course, that the hand pollination of the cucumbers works out. I've got my eye on you, Vegetable Gods. I'm coming to your house; I'm knocking on your door, and I'm bringing a fork.

Grow, cucumbers, grow.

Oh, and GOOOOOOOO DAWGS! Sick 'em!! Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof! Can't forget that, now, can I?

The morning comes early. Sweet gardening dreams.