Mugshots

Chupacabra....thy name is Gibson.


I caught that dog, stinkin' red pawed, right in the center of my lettuce bed. Actually, he was straddling the two beds that are pushed up against each other. Why dig holes in one bed, when you can dig simultaneously in both? When I leaned over the porch and yelled bloody murder, he immediately had that, "Oh *&^#" look and dragged his chin on the ground as he walked to me and inside the house. He and Vladimir did this last year, but I always thought Gibson was just the passive follower and Vladimir was the mastermind. Kind of like Pinky and the Brain, you know?

He's so far left the garlic bed alone since I covered it with straw. I suppose it's out of sight, out of mind. He'd better leave the garlic bed alone if he knows what's good for him.

He knows he's in trouble. He came inside and went straight to his bed. His MO when he gets in trouble is to not look at you. He does everything he can to avert his gaze, but after a while he starts trying to schnuffle you to make nice, but he still won't look you in the eyes.

Here are his mug shots; they're difficult to get given he was frozen and wouldn't look at me. I'm trying him for crimes against the garden, inflicting restless nights and suffering on the gardener, fraud, leaving the scene of a crime, giving false information and tampering with evidence and plantslaughter. He's also most likely in possession of less than one ounce of soil mix if I dig in between his toes long enough.

Tomorrow, I'm buying three latex and one mylar balloon for each room in the house, including hallways. The mylar will have the shiny, silver back in order to best reflect the sun and throw light everywhere. I'm turning on the fans, moving the lamps, inviting strangers to the house, running the vacuum, and paying a neighbor kid to come over and crumble tin foil repeatedly.

The game is on. I can play this game. I'm scrappy aand have more experience...

and opposable thumbs.