Sunday, July 5, 2009

The Vegetable Conspiracy - Revisited

I was walking around the garden this morning, trying to see if one of my zucchini bushes has truly lived out its life, when my neighbor's girlfriend's father (I'll give you a second to follow that...ready?) popped his head over the fence, scared the fool out of me, and began talking about my tomatoes. He waxed on about never being able to grow any, his plants this year not ripening quickly enough, and how much he just loves fresh tomatoes from the garden for his salads.

I took the hint and pulled 7 ripe Romas off and handed them to him across the fence. He was just as thrilled to have them as I was to give first. Then, I remembered. He used the word 'salad' the summer time.

A few months ago, I posted about the distinct possibility of there being a conspiracy within the vegetable world whereas when you have all of your lettuce, radishes, and peas for your salads, your tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers are yet but well protected seedlings and have yet to see the light of day. (You can click to go to the original post. I'll wait...OK, ready?)

His comment about a summer salad (this would be one with lettuce and not pasta as the vegetable gods would have us believe) brought everything back to memory. The powers that be in the vegetable world have got us hoodwinked. They try to bamboozle us in the summer by inundating our gardens with beans, squash, peppers, tomatoes, okra, melons, and zucchinis enough to feed a small country in the hopes that it will escape our notice that we are without the main component in a basic salad, and that's 'salad' as in the real thing, baby, with lettuce, peas, carrots, red cabbage, radishes and more. The same holds true in the fall and winter, for then we're occupied with Cabbage Lopers, ravenous squirrels, rogue ravens, and frost and freeze warnings which hold our attention just long enough for us to not long for those plump, shiny, red orbs.

I call shenanigans. You may have won this round, but the gardener will prevail. For we can make salsa with those tomatoes and peppers, and fresh fall or spring lettuce goes awfully nicely on a taco salad.

The morning comes early. Sweet veggie mingling dreams.


  1. Yes, about the only thing you can do is go all Mediterranean and redefine salad as tomatoes, bread, mozzarella and basil. Mmmmmmm.

    Or preserve stuff. Enjoy!

  2. 'scared the fool out of me' ROTFLOL! I haven't heard that one before, but I'm stealing it. :)

  3. Stefaneener, that's just what they want! You're playing into their hands.

    But mediterranean salads are so good aren't they? Shhh. I didn't say that.

  4. Seriously, hidinginmygarden? Use away, my friend.

  5. The images you conjure up about salads are mouth watering. I am just about to yank all the lettuce out, bitter, bitter, bitter. I stretched it out as long as possible. Besides, you can only eat so many salads with lettuce. I ate one for breakfast last week, just because I had so much lettuce. Now that's crazy.

  6. It's totally not crazy. I love a salad with ranch dressing...with my pancakes.

    Seriously. You should see the looks I get when we go out to breakfast.

  7. Hey...Ribbit...Let me tell you a secret. There are heat tolerant lettuce out there. I am growing some now..outside even! You CAN have your lettuce and tomatoes and eat them too (together)!!!

    I say, let them eat salad...all components! (I admire your story telling)

  8. How tolerant is tolerant? The GA humidity can be brutal.

    Thanks! That's the best compliment I could receive.