Friday, October 23, 2009

Mugshots

Chupacabra....thy name is Gibson.


I caught that dog, stinkin' red pawed, right in the center of my lettuce bed. Actually, he was straddling the two beds that are pushed up against each other. Why dig holes in one bed, when you can dig simultaneously in both? When I leaned over the porch and yelled bloody murder, he immediately had that, "Oh *&^#" look and dragged his chin on the ground as he walked to me and inside the house. He and Vladimir did this last year, but I always thought Gibson was just the passive follower and Vladimir was the mastermind. Kind of like Pinky and the Brain, you know?

He's so far left the garlic bed alone since I covered it with straw. I suppose it's out of sight, out of mind. He'd better leave the garlic bed alone if he knows what's good for him.

He knows he's in trouble. He came inside and went straight to his bed. His MO when he gets in trouble is to not look at you. He does everything he can to avert his gaze, but after a while he starts trying to schnuffle you to make nice, but he still won't look you in the eyes.

Here are his mug shots; they're difficult to get given he was frozen and wouldn't look at me. I'm trying him for crimes against the garden, inflicting restless nights and suffering on the gardener, fraud, leaving the scene of a crime, giving false information and tampering with evidence and plantslaughter. He's also most likely in possession of less than one ounce of soil mix if I dig in between his toes long enough.

Tomorrow, I'm buying three latex and one mylar balloon for each room in the house, including hallways. The mylar will have the shiny, silver back in order to best reflect the sun and throw light everywhere. I'm turning on the fans, moving the lamps, inviting strangers to the house, running the vacuum, and paying a neighbor kid to come over and crumble tin foil repeatedly.

The game is on. I can play this game. I'm scrappy aand have more experience...

and opposable thumbs.

8 comments:

  1. Ha ha! That was a funny post. Boy, he sure looks pitiful in that picture. At least you know what the culprit is now.

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  2. lol...I have evil little pets like this! They just like to eat my plants!

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  3. The problem is that I can't fence in the garden, it's too large and in too awkward of a shape. Fencing it would be counter productive. The dog just needs to be entertained. He won't fetch a ball, but I do need to start wearing him out on walks and the like.

    It does make me feel better that at least this massive damage isn't wildlife. I still think the ripped up seedlings may have been since they were completely consumed, but that's something I'll tackle soon enough.

    At least I can try to keep him supervised in the garden from now on.

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  4. Sadistic but awfully funny. How about hanging the balloons and aluminum foil outside around the garden boxes?

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  5. Oh, poor poor guilty doggie.....NEVER EVER piss of "momma"
    He seems to have learned his lesson (for today!)

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  6. Oh man, what a guilty conscience!

    Yes, I was thinking Mylar tape alllll around those beds!

    The outdoor cats have found my new beds. Grrrr.

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  7. Awww...I love the evil Gibson. Those mug shots make me want to give him a big granny hug.

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